LYRICS FOR omt_title.gif (2941 bytes)


Rock and Roll Behavior
You wonder what's the matter with your only son,
staying out for beer and fun 'til after 1?
It's only ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR, ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!
Don'tcha worry momma 'bout your little girl, it's only ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!

You're worried cuz your daughter's out on the loose,
and she's barely old enough to reproduce???
It's only ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR, ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!
Don'tcha worry daddy, 'bout your little girl, it's only ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!

How many more nights grounded at home is it going to cost her,
Before you drop her from the top of your fecal roster???
When are you old folks gonna learn that it's their after-school savior???
splat2.gif (1046 bytes)
ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!

Momma, momma, momma, come and look at sis!!!
In the backyard dancin' like this!!!
I think it's ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!! ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!
There's only one thing that makes her act like that and that's ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!

You got a funny feeling that they're out gettin' "high"
and you're afraid they might be seen by the unseen eye?!!?
It's only ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!! ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!
They're gonna do it if you like it or not, they love ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!

How many more nights grounded at home is it going to cost him?
Before you get off of his back and quit telling him that you lost him???
When are you old folks gonna learn that it's their after-school savior?
ROCK AND ROLL BEHAVIOR!!!

1977 Shameless Music (BMI)
Guitar Casesplat1.gif (728 bytes)
Ever since Junior popped from the womb, he's been playin' on the guitar, locked in his room,
With 21 frets on six long strings--he never stops to mess with his homework things.
He just grows his hair down to his waist!!! Mom & Daddy had a GUITAR CASE!!!

GUITAR CASE!!! Mom & Daddy had a GUITAR CASE!!!
But you're wrong if you think it's just the kind that sits around and gathers dust!!!
GUITAR CASE!!! Mom & Daddy had a GUITAR CASE!!!
But they can't find a place for their rockin' little GUITAR CASE!!!

He rocks all day and when he's finished, he goes out at night to get his brain diminished!!!
His daddy's convinced that rock and roll's the factor that Junior don't wanna drive the family tractor!!!
His momma just thinks that he's a total disgrace!!! Mom & Daddy had a GUITAR CASE!!!

ETC!!!

1978 Shameless Music (BMI) cupring.gif (2197 bytes)

Even As We Speak
Well, I saw you at a party, it was true love at first glance
And it was oh so hard for me to ask you for this dance
I won't beat around the bush or try to be oblique
Cuz I wanna make sweet love to you, Even As We Speak

Please don't think I'm forward, cuz shucks, I'm really not!!!!
And it's normally not my normal way to put girls on the spot
(like this)
And I know you think that every line I say is just antique
But I wanna make sweet love to you, Even As We Speak

CHORUS: Even As We Speak, oh yeah!  Even as we're talking
               It's straight into your open arms I long to be walking
               And I will understand it if you want to slap my cheek!!!
               But I wanna make sweet love to you Even As We Speak

Like, I wanna take you home with me, if you don't get my drift
You can look at all my records and I'll take you for a lift
And maybe we can figure out an untried sex technique
Cuz I wanna make sweet love to you, Even As We Speak

Repeat Chorus

1982 Shameless Music (BMI)

Breathe For Me, Presley!
Emergency!!! Memphis nurse!!! Hospital room!!! The phone rings--it's Graceland...come real soon!!!
No one here knows just what to do, and Elvis lies here turning blue!!!
The Doctor outside screams where do I go??? The people inside are screaming "No! No! No!"
He runs to the side of the fallen King, and these are the words that he does sing:

BREATHE FOR ME, PRESLEY!!!
BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
C'mon and breathe for me!!!

I saw you "live" once--looking great!!! Tell me now I'm not too late!!!
Hearing's our last sense to leave, so if your're listening, breathe,breathe, breathe!!!!

BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
C'mon and breathe for me!!!

See the candle burn out quick--there ain't no more wax. there ain't no more wick.
Deep fried food made Elvis sick, and too many drugs from Dr. Nick!!!

BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
C'mon and breathe for me!!!

(Repeat as perscribed)

1982 Shameless Music (BMI) splat3.gif (1345 bytes)

Rabies Shot
(It was) summer recreation center.
Sis had returned the ball I'd lent her.
I saw a puppy--went up to pet it.
Got-ta live now to regret it!!!

Another day, another juncture:
The teeth they bite, the skin it puncture.
Phone the paper and broadcaster
to help us find the maybe-mad-dog's master!!!

Chorus:  Before they subject me to (subject me to!!!)
          Subject me to (subject me to!!!)
             A painful series of rabies shots!!!

The goddamned bitch escaped detection.
Doctor-bound for first injection.
I overhear them say, "His young life it hinges,
on the serum in these syringes!!!"

A thousand drags! A million terrors!
Can't compare to my one error!!!
For fourteen days, pain deep and wide
--just to be on the safe side!!!

Chorus,etc.

1982 Shameless Music (BMI)

Garage Sale
I see a sign on a pole, it makes me lose my self-control.
You never know what you might find--have you got yours? Now I got mine!!!

Chorus: I found my baby at the garage sale, I found my baby at the garage sale!!!
I bought her momma's decoupage pail!!! I found my baby at the garage sale!!!

Among the clothes and K-Tel discs, our eyes they met amidst the misc.
You could sense electric shocks starting all the as-is clocks

(Repeat chorus)

Now we're married and have a home--we have garage sales all our own!!!
Lovely to look at, delightful to hold, but don't you break it or else it's sold!!!

(Repeat chorus)cupring2.gif (1713 bytes)

I, 4 1, Don't Care!
I 4 1 Don't Care, That your new love is unfair.
If you need some problems solved, Don't ask me, I'm not involved!!! Cuz I 4 1 don't care.
I 4 1 think it's nice, That your heart's been broken once or twice.
If you want me, just forget, I don't like my shoulder wet!
Cuz I 4 1 don't care!!!
You must excuse me, darlin' but I just don't mind.
If you want my frank opinion, it's only "instant karma" time
And it don't matter to me if you run and dye your hair,
Cuz I 4 1 don't care!!! **********************************************************
OPTIONAL NEW VERSES!!! I 4 1 think it's great/That his love for you has turned to hate
OR I 4 1 think it's swell/That you served a lengthy stretch in hell
OR on "THE BRIDGE" Since when did you care so much about what I had to say/
When we were together you always had to have your way/
And if you think je t'aime beaucoup, well, baby, au contraire/
Cuz I 4 1 don't care...

1983 Shameless Music (BMI)

Succubus
Chorus: Oh Oh! Oh! What can I do??? You be me and I'll be you!!!
We'll make love, and we'll be us--be my little Succubus!!!

I've got a secret that I can tell, about the girl that came from hell!!!
Now I'm caught here in the clutch of the girl named Succubus!!!

(Repeat chorus)

What a pretty face she's got!!! You ask me why? I say why not!?!?
It's her face and it's the touch, it's the touch of Succubus!!!

(Repeat chorus)

You can't fool me!!! I know the score!!! It's one potato, two potato, three potato, four!!!
Other loves turn red with rust--not me and little Succubus!!!

Repeat chorus 2x!!!

1983 Shameless Music (BMI)

Bum Ticker
C
ome with me, way back in time,
In the canyons of my mind.
To the not-so-distant past,
It's true--they say, time travels fast!!!

A lightning bolt came in a call,
And knocked me up against the wall!!!
You could come quick, but you better come quicker!!!
Your Daddy has a bum, bum ticker!!!

Chorus: Daddy had a bum ticker, bum ticker,
Daddy had a bum ticker, bum ticker!!!
Water's thick, but blood is thicker,
Daddy had a bum, bum ticker!!!

Well, I took the next plane headed West,
To see the Dad I dug the best!!!
So strange!!! To see him lying there,
Tubed-up in intensive care!!!

One more year with family folk,
Then like Beaver sez, "He croaked!!!"
And there he lies in a basket o' wicker...
Daddy had a bum, bum, ticker!!!

(Repeat chorus)

But I guess it's Mom that I miss most,
Picking at her tea and toast,
I would play from coast-to-coast,
And she would watch a Rickles roast!!!

Then one day, she closed her eyes,
The Doc said "She metasticized,
And her heart began to fade and flicker!!!
Your momma had a bum, bum, ticker!!!"

(Repeat chorus only with Momma)

(Momma/Daddy etc)

1985 Shameless Music (BMI)

Hungry For Love
Well, I've seen a bum beg for crumbs on his knees,
And the bloated, black bellies of sad refugees.
And millions are waiting for their Federal cheese,
Oh, but I know a shortage that's so much worse than these:
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Chorus: Hungry for love, hungry for love!!!
Each night I go to sleep and I'm hungry for love!!!
So send me the kind of girl that I'm dreaming of!!!
So I won't have to go to sleep Hungry for love!!!

It was guilt for the starving made him lick his plate!!!
Well, his dish, yeah, it may be empty, but his heart's filled with hate!!!
So give him some affection before it's too late!!!
Can't you see the millions that are starving right here in our State??? (and they're)

(Repeat chorus)

The next time your little boy asks ya to pray,
Say, son, "Dad's too busy!!! And watch him grow up to be gay!!!
But there may be time to change his way--
if you take him huntin' tomorrow and fishin' today!!! (Then maybe he won't go...)

(Repeat chorus)

**********************************************************************
OPTIONAL LAST VERSE DEDICATED TO THE PEOPLE OF OMAHA, NEBRASKA
The next time your little girl says, "Daddy, let's find something to do!!!"
Say, "Honey--did you say something???" And she'll start datin' "Two Live Crew!!!"
But I've got some friendly advice just for you!!!
Take her to see the Albino Tigers at the Henry Doorly Zoo!!! (Then maybe she won't go)...
(Repeat chorus)

1985 Shameless Music (BMI)

Roadkill
I was ridin' in my rig outta Roca late last night,
When a pair of wild, flashing eyes came in my headlights!!!
The awful thump! of steel-on-bone!!! The sound of certain death!!!
My heart it jumped into my throat, I tried to catch my breath!!!
God's will. My thrill. Roadkill.

A skunk??? A 'coon??? A rabbit??? At night, it's hard to tell!!!
But from the sound of impact, it's probably just as well!!!
I only know there's nothin' like the feel a trucker feels,
When he knows that something fat and furry's flat beneath his wheels!!!
God's will. My thrill. Roadkill.

"Hey, Charlie!!! Why'd the chicken cross the road???"
Well, the chicken never did make it, huh!, cross the road!!!
"Why didn't the chicken make it cross the road???"
Cuz I hit him with my "load!!!"

Well, now, don't misunderstand me---I try to miss 'n' swerve,
But you cannot always do that when you're comin' 'round a curve!!!!
But, I'm confident that every time another "hit" is scored,
My truck becomes a Hammer in the Tool Box of The Lord!!!
God's will. My thrill. Roadkill.

Breaker!!! Breaker!!! It's a 10-45!!!
Hard to say what it was when alive!!!
Big chunks o' roadkill that you see were picked off by the likes of me!!!

As I "deadhead" into town "high" on "whites" and "joints,"
I hit a highway-crossing buck--maybe 15 points!!!
Hopped outta my seat and i strapped it to my hood!!!
The kids are gonna eat tonight and they'll be eatin' mighty good!!!
God's will. My thrill. Roadkill.

1985 Shameless Music (BMI)

All Time Low
Well, for a long, long time I really loved you,
But I was just too insecure to let it show-ho-ho.
And then I saw you walkin' arm-in-arm with my best friend,
And my life has hit an all-time low!!!

Well, I said "Yes," when you said "Let's invite him
Out on our next date," but how was I to know-ho-ho,
The next day that you two would be an "item."
And my life would hit an all-time low.

Well, I went back home alone and then I tried to go to sleep,
But all I did all night was toss and turn and moan and weep:
Yeah, I'd close my eyes and visualize you and your new beau
And my life would hit an all time low!!!

Repeat first verse.

Well, the blues? I guess I gottum--this done threw me in a pit.
The walls fly by on either side and God, I wish they'd quit!!!
When will I hit the bottom? Maybe in a week or so.
And my life has hit an all-time low!!!

Etc!!!
*******************************************************************
New last verse:
I'll never know the feeling of your touch or of your kiss
I'll only know the view from the nadir of the abyss.
And if you wonder why I feel like this, I'd like for you to know,
It's cuz my life has hit an all-time low!!!

1985 Shameless Music (BMI)

Nanook Of The Northsplat3.gif (1345 bytes)
Let's hop a ten-hour flight from Saskatoon,

And let's meet a dude that wields a mean harpoon.
Our camera moves in and we take a look,
At our friend the Eskimo, Nanook!!!
Nanook, Ow!!! He's really outtasite!!!
He knows our world is not just blue and white.
No supermarket, car, or shopping mall.
He uses whale for food and fuel 'n' all!!!

Chorus: And Nanook, Nanook, Nanook of the North,
Bravely from his igloo ventures forth.
I'm that Eskimos' #1 fan...if he can't do it, no one can...
He's Nanook, Nanook, Nanook Of the North.

On Friday night, he and his huskies mush.
He sells his furs, and man, he's feeling flush!!!
And then he has a beer down at the bar,
And then he sleds back home under the stars. The frozen stars!

Repeat Chorus except...he's our endless Eskimo friend
Our admiration never ends for Nanook, Nanook, Nanook Of the North.

We hopped a ten hour flight from Saskatoon,
And we met a dude that wields a mean harpoon.
Now, everybody, take a farewell look
At your friend, the Eskimo, Nanook!!!

Repeat Chorus, except...I'm that Eskimo's #1 fan.
If he can't do it, no one can... He's Nanook, Nanook, Nanook of the North!!!

1985 Shameless Music (BMI)

One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Treasure
*lyrics to be added soon*

Major Turnoff
Unh!!!
I saw a girl that looked so great!!!
I thought I'd ask her for a "date!!!"
I felt kinda nervous, so I reached for a smoke.
She declined, then she spoke:
"Hey-hey!!! Boy, cantcha see???
Cigarettes are a major turnoff for me!!!

I felt so dejected: my jaw hit de floor!!!
I headed off for the package store.
I saw a chick, she made it clear,
as on my breath, she smelled the beer.
Hey-hey!!! Boy cantcha see???
Guys that drink are a major turnoff for me!!!

Bridge: Lookin' for a girl lookin' for a guy like me: I'm sadder budweiser.
But any more, the girls these days are looking for Orel Hershizer!!!

Saw a girl that wouldn't quit.
I proclaimed, "Holy shit!!!"
She said "I thought you were 'where it's at'
until I heard you say that!!!
Hey-hey!!! Boy cantcha see???
Guys that swear are a major turnoff for me!!!

Repeat bridge.

I'm alone--I feel so sad,
cuz chicks all say my habit's bad!!!
I'm all alone, nowhere to go
cuz modern girls, they just say "No!!!"
Hey-hey!!! Boy, can'tcha see,
all that stuff is a major turnoff for me.
No action is a major turnoff for me!!!

1989 Shameless Music (BMI)

Anyone I Know?
Well, if you go out to a party and see the girl that broke my heart,
Or if you run into her at a show-oh-ho-ho,
Though it won't break up this cloud I'm under, still, I can't help but wonder,
did she go with anyone I know?

Well, I can't work, and I neglect my studies, cuz I'm so sure one (or more!!!) of my buddies
Is out foolin' 'round with the girl I still love so, ah-ho-ho!!!
Please don't think that I'm a punishment glutton--she just knew how to "push my buttons!!!"
Did she go with anyone I know???

Chorus: Anyone I Know??? Anyone I Know???
I'm a sad and a lonely boy with a hard time letting go!!!

Yeah--I know you're right--I'll find another
"New! Improved!! and Different!!!" Lover,
But I don't "go" fo' anyone I know.

Repeat chorus, etc.splat1.gif (728 bytes)

1989 Shameless Music (BMI)

Bummin' Hard
Bummin' hard. Bummin' hard.
No relief from the grief in the real-life soap opera I starred. In!
I'm all alone with nowhere to go.
I let a little monkey stop my show.
I been ridden outta town shortly after being feathered and tarred .

Bummin' hard. Bummin' hard.
Nothin' fits in my mitts. It's the pits. B'lieve I'll just call it quits. Bang!
Well, I'm all alone with nowhere to turn.
I seem to see a fire and I go to get burned.
I been findin' Jack o' Diamonds is a mighty-mighty hard playing card.

(Bridge)I don't give a flying fuck (through a rolling donut).
Iffin Jesus doesn't change my luck, I swear I'm gonna go nuts!!!

Bummin hard. Bummin' hard!!! (Repeat bridge)

Bummin' hard. Bummin' hard.
It's a life filled with strife, for example, won'tcha take-a my wife? Please!!!
Well, I'm sittin' here a-siftin' through a big pile o' parts.
I got a black belt in the marital arts,
If I ever fall in love, tell me, tell me to just disregard!!! (Or else you'll soon be)

Bummin' hard. Bummin' hard. Bummin' hard.

1989 Shameless Music (BMI)

(You're Not Playing Fair)Elise!
You're not playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise!!!
No, I don't think you're playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise. fair, Elise!!!
I called you on the telephone. They said you'd gone. You weren't alone. What's going on???
You're not playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise!!!

You're not playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise.
No, I don't think you're playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise.
I've seen you look at other guys with flirting eyes. You told me lies. I'm not surprised.
You're not playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise!!!

You're not playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise!!!
No, I don't think you're playing fair, Elise, fair, Elise, fair, Elise.
You thought I had a cute behind. You changed your mind. You're so unkind. My love is blind.
You're not playing fair, Elise., fair, Elise, fair, Elise.

Etc.

1989 Shameless Music (BMI)

Spare Me The Details
Last night in the grocery store, I saw you and like before,
one part I could kill, one part I love still.
You saw me, too, gave me a grin, and you began to fill me in,
How you've had a blast in your recent past,but,

Chorus: Spare me the details of your new romance. You never gave our love a chance.
I called it "heads" and it came up "tails," Until the day that he fails,
Spare me the details of your new romance.

Though it had been a long, long time, you just picked the wrong, wrong time
to tell how well you've "scored." It left me feeling bored.
No, I don't really need to know about your Mr. So-and-So.
I'm sure he's very nice, but please, take my advice, and

(Repeat chorus)splat1.gif (728 bytes)
(Repeat first verse and chorus)

1994 Shameless Music (BMI)

Wishful Thinking
I went shopping in an all-night food store,
When I hit a pretty girl with my cart,
And I wondered: in my wake, did she do a double-take?
Or is that wishful thinking on my part?

She wore no ring...does she need a new boy?
Is there room for rental on her heart?
And could she fall for me, a lonely blue boy?
Or is that wishful thinking on my part?

Bridge: Star light, star bright!!! I think I'll make my wish on you.
But I must be careful what I wish tonight,
Just in case this dream of mine comes true.

As I stood behind her in the checkout,
I inspected her selections from the mart.
Did that look mean 'Boy, come stick your neck out!!!'
Or is that wishful thinking on my part?

Repeat bridge and first verse.

1985 Shameless Music (BMI)

That's Not Polite
Well, don't you know that it's not polite,
To love me once and leave me crying?
To tell the truth when you're just lying?
Don't you know that it's not polite?

Well, don't you know that it's not polite,
To say you love me one and only,
And then you'll go and leave me lonely.
Don't you know that it's not polite!?!?

Bridge: Did you not remember, Or did you just forget,
The things your mama told you about good etiquette,

but I love you yet, so don't you forget, It's not polite
To love-a me once and leave me crying,
To tell the truth when you're just lying?
Don't you know that it's not polite???

Repeat bridge. Etc.

1983 Shameless Music (BMI)


Without My Woman

Without My woman, I'd be a hopeless sack of shit.
I wake up in the morning and see the Angel lying next
To me, she's just a textbook case of what a wife should be.
Jesus Christ!!! You know I don't deserve her!!! And if I were her, I'd quit!!!
Without my woman, I'd be a hopeless sack of shit.

Yes, before I met my woman, and she made my half life a (w)hole,
I was a teevee without a cable, I was like the Wichita Lineman without a pole.
Like the front of an horse costume needs another part to sit,
Without my woman, I'd be a hopeless sack of shit.

Bridge: I'd be a hopeless sack of shit without my woman by my side.
That's why she took me as her husband, that's why I took her as my bride.
You know, I think her love is ten times tougher than sandpaper coated with carborundum grit!!!
Without my woman, I'd be a hopeless sack of shit.

Repeat bridge.

You know it looked, and it felt, and it tasted like love...I'm so glad that I stepped in it!!!
Without my woman, I'd be a hopeless sack of shit.
Without my woman, I'd be a worthless pile of shit.
Without my woman...


1990,1999 Shameless Music (BMI)

Lunchtime
Well, I keep looking at my watch--the time is stuck at ten-to-noon!
I'm feeling real excited cuz I'm gonna see her soon!!!
My heart may burst--I saw her first! I got this funny hunch I'm
Gonna see that girl I really like at lunchtime!!!

The lifestyle of the lonely guy was the one that had been mine.
My social life was largely when I was standing in some line.
But our eyes met and I can't forget how it hit just like a punch 'n
I'm gonna see that girl I really like at lunchtime!!!

Just like strangers in the night to the Chairman's "shoo-be-doo-bees"

I see an angel every day, push a tray at Luby's.
I know this is the Real Thing and not some silly high school crunch 'n

I'm gonna see that girl I really like at lunchtime.

One day soon, I'll get the nerve to tell her how I feel,

And thank her for making this much more than just another meal.
And how I wanna buy her flowers by the big ole bunch 'n
I'm gonna see that girl I really like at lunchtime.

1999 Shameless Music (BMI)

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